from south to north....

having a break, train station between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

departure: margao 15.50. 4th april 2012
arrival: delhi 6.15 6th april 2012
seat 54, dep. s3

one huge rucksack, one photobag, one laptop bag with food, book and i pod.

input:
    2 veggi sandwitch
    1 packet of biscuits
    1 package of 160 gramm busicutis
   17 chai
    3 coffees
    2 samosa
    1 guava
  10 bananas
    1 evening dinner
    6 bottles of water
 421 pages
     2 times charging i pod
     1 article
     3 languages
     1 roll of toilet paper
318  rupees for mobile recharge

output:
    3 great conversation with a hindi family, a girl from ukraine and a family with two little kids
    1 almost finished read book
    3 times annoyance about indian inpolitness
    7 times waking up during the night
    1 kg more body weight
    

overlapping, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

waking up, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

she was lying next to me, turning around, carfully, not hitting the child. next to her, tinny.

she was not here when i was there last night, fell asleep, like a stone.also not there when i woke up during the night. but in the morning. in her red golden palietted sharee, the end of the sharee over head, a thin clothes covering her body.

she was lying on the floor. in between the two beds on the sides. in between the luggague.

in indian trains you have three or four categories for overland trains. first class ac, second ac, third ac and sleeper. for all of those you need reservation. people told me.
 

waiting, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

wandering, train station between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

she came from goa. she was there for three month. did not wanna stay that for longer but she liked it. all the beaches along the costal line. one of the best: palolem beach. she brought a yoga mat, one big, one small bagpack.

she talks about the time in goa, about the people, the food, how she found herself. 

what is yourself. when do you know you are there? it always happen to me that people are saying that. they are finding themselves, within all the other selffinder in busy winter goa where the music and dance scene is in its highpoint and collects hundreds next to each other on the beach.

i always think i found myself, but every single time i thought i found myself  i had to admit one year later that the finding was just an embarassing pretentious moment.

she takes images, of people. great images, good moments, easy framing, but well done. pictures form people, mostly. nice colours, good post production. 

the way people think about a world they just see through picture is determined by the visual language. the visual language is done by the photographer. 

her images are how i know india through images, close up framing of happy exotic people in exciting moments or moods with great color scheme. she is in advertising, in ukraine, kiew. she calls her profession art.  

she was beautiful by the way. perfect figure, blond hair. she was wearing tights, a long t shirt over it. very relaxed. the guys couldn't stop looking. even after 26 hours, when she left the train.
 

living, between margao and delhi, 4th april 2012

producing, between margao and delhi, 6th april 2012

storing, between margao and delhi, 6th april 2012

i can not remember anymore how it started. i did not talk to them. definitly. they spoke hindi. i am english. so no talking. maybe i talked with the kids, in some sort or the other language. 

but he wrote. the girl from ucraine gave her a pen. i gave her he paper. and she wrote. very slow, held the pen tight. small fingers. she maybe 4. she was so proud.wrote her name. nane.

showing off, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

supporting, train station between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

i thought giving children pens on the street would be because it would be a good alternative to money or sweets. to stop begging for parents. the ucraine girl told me something different. 

children in india love pens because they are so focused on their education that they are proud to show off what they can do. children are always proud to impress, to hear how well they are doing.
but yes in india apparently a main focus is on education. 

apparently parents spend up to  50 % income on their children's education.

being, between margao and delhi, 6th april 2012

i screamed at her. she did not hear me. I shouted again. but i had to say it was not too loud. just to quick not prepared.

the village we stopped was small. maybe 10 houses. in the middle of the field, quite close together, two streets, one vertical crossing into the train lines one into the main street, which was parallel to us. the  air was flimmering. it was hot. far off you could see woman with baskets on tehir head disappering behind the small mudhouses.
 

trying1, between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

trying2, between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

wait·ing/ˈwātiNG/

Noun:	The action of staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens. Official attendance at court.
Synonyms:	wait - expectation - expectancy - expectance

meditating, train between margao and delhi, 6th april 2012

finding, train between margao and delhi, 6th april 2012

winning, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

playingpresent participle of play (Verb)

Verb:

Engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose. Engage in (a game or activity) for enjoyment.

enduring1, between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

enduring2, between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

Indian Railways transports 30 million passengers daily^[27] across twenty-eight states and two union territories. Sikkim and Meghalaya are the only states not connected by rail.^[4] A standard passenger train consists of eighteen coaches, but popular trains can have 26 coaches or even more.

Coaches are designed to accommodate anywhere from 18 to 108 passengers, but during the holiday seasons and/or on busy routes, many more passengers may travel in unreserved coaches. Most regular trains have coaches connected through vestibules. However, 'unreserved coaches' are not connected with the rest of the train via any vestibule.

knowing, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

seaking, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

there would be no way. open door, moving train. the wind is warm, a bit too warm but it gives some more fresh air in my lunges. the train is not the quickest. but quick enough to hurt me would i drop down.

guys are screaming when we enter the tunnel. it is because of the echo. they think it is funny.
 

deciding, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

he is a typical indian big brother. if we believe the stereotype. again. he is carrying all the luggage, sorting out the place, getting food. he is taking care. 

he is the eldest of two siblings, of a mam. traveling next to me.  him, his sister, his mother and his mother's friend.

his mother is divorced she tells me. a couple of years ago. here the kids are, with her. his sister is stil in school. she wants to be engineer, because she is good in math, biology, chemistry and physics. her eyes are sparkling, talking about it.  he mum smiles. proudly. 

in india to become engineer is the future. that's the believe. if u are an engineer you get somewhere. has something. that's it. for some people.
  
she laughes, talks constantly, plays with her brother, fights with him, playful. at the end of teh day we have to sort out where everybody sleeps. i wanted to sleep on the down bed. even so i had the bed on the upperst part. i asked, because of my camera bag. they were discussing. he discussed, with the others. they did not look happy. he smiled, tired. you can sleep on the middle bed. thats ok, isn't it. he was slightly smilling.

he is probably younger than me. much. maybe around 22. he has a shop for mobile phones.

consuming, train station between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

standing by, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

twitching1, between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

twitching2, between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

she was quiet i admit. just before we arrived she started to explore. except from that she was more scared of us than we from her. i have to say i forgot her most of the time. 

she just appeared. or she made it appear. out of her plastic bag. by the engineer girl. she was shaking her, showing her around.

i know they are also house pets. a friend of mine had 50 of them, when she was younger. in a big room. in a few cages, homemade. she loved them. but then she also had a lot of other animals. she gave a lot of them to her friends, my friends. i thought they are creepy.
 
india always surprises me.
 

discovering, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

discovering2, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

dissapintment, train between margao and delhi, 5th april 2012

after the season.

star, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

palolem beach is in goa. north or south i forgot. near to margao. also one of the most touristi spots.

the polish girl from my last place said i should go there. the most beautiful spot she can think of. even worth while to travel 36 hours, even it is just 3 days. beach, sand, water, drinks on masse, peace. no showshit. and a lovely place to live and sun.

palolem is very touristi. stalls with clothes, tea, food, tea, clothes, alcohol, next to each other, along the only road in the village. for 100 meter. just nothing else. a huge amount of hotels with little sheds made out of bambussticks and dry leaves, some plastic paper. some more fancy some less. depends on the prize for each night.

shells, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

girls, palolem beach, 3rd april 2012

hotel, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

it is already almost after the season. still open, because not yet easter time. but already hot. and if it gets too hot they close down. so not worthwhile to have it open. but yet still open.

at the begining backpackers came, hippies, loved the quietness, the nature, the untouchable.  later more and more came, now the hippies are either gone or older, still coming here, now with their children. germans who might were involved in the 68's generation, when everything was about freedom and liberty, loving each other and trying to aim for nothing than the day. freedom, peace and harmony. now they have kids, still come here, and lay in the memory of the past. maybe.

party, palolem beach, 4th april 2012

it was monday eve. a tv was on, heard it, from somewhere. nothing special. i thought. walls are thin and people are close.

the tv ran all night, till the morning, all day, all night. interruped with some music, then tv again. i asked my landlord, out of curiousty of a villager.

they are just smoking a bit too much. he smilled, imitated a puff with a cigarette. smiled again. i smiled as well.

goa is famous for partying, trance electronic stuff, and drugs of course. and hippies and tourist talking them, half naked. always.

when i am in my village, when i was younger, we had a massive amount of parties. a lot of them in my place. because my parents have a restaurant. restaurant means space, liquid and food. had parties from just hanging around till dancing widly, pucking over the balcony and rolling around in the field. or getting chucked out by my rigerous grandmother. it was fun, every summer adiffernt episode of people, stories, dramas. typical as a young teenager in a village.

i can remember one of the first time we drank alcohol. we were 12 or 13, far too young. we wanted to get drunk, we were curious. it was new year. karin said you have to drink it in once. she was the cool one of us. so i did. sat on the table in front of the upper restaurant place and drank, it was champagne. aftrewards i can just remeber how funny everything was.

this was one of the good drunkenness. later on i had a lot of bad ones. with forgetting, till being unbelievable embarrassing and dramatic ones. even hospital. not because of the alcohol as such but the side product.

nowadays i hardly drink. not because i am scared, just because there are better things in life.

umbrella boy, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

tree, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

toys, palolem beach, 4th april 2012

sign, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

boys, palolem beach, 3rd april 2012

the best time for everything is between 7 and 8 am, and 5 and 7 pm. beautful light, climate everything.

most of teh time i got up at half 6 am, got up, first a run along the water, than jumping in the water, but never forgetting where and if your clothes are still lying there. then walk with taking images, then chai. going back. looking for my book and jump into he water. then bying water, biscuits and pineapple form the pineapple mango guy who is far too old for the heavy basket but probably much more strong than i expect and amazingly educated in the way he cuts pineapples, halves the coconut.

on teh day before i left he came, in the afternoon. no pineapple for me, never in the afternoon. he said tomorrow morning. i said yes. wa a bit happy. a bit pittyfull.

remembering and pointing out customers i do a lot, as a waitress, back home. because t is ncie, to recognize, to get recognize. not even a marketing strategy. not for me. i talk to customers, make them wellcome, share moments, out of fun. out of the surprising moment of receiving and getting something which is based on pure coincident.

do the customer talk to me as well out of pittyness? or do i just talk to those guys out of my pittyness for myself?

apartments, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

baywatchstand, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

it seems like tourism makes me sad. guess it is so close to me that every single moment i am digging in my personal memory treassure.

child, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

toilet, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

garniture, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

every place has also a different side. specific tourist places. tourist places are most of the time just minor a tourist place and mostly just a place. people eat, work and live according to their rules, cultural context.

most of the time the tourist context is not the cultural context of the place. but if the tourist context is different the cultural context tries to adopt, where the tourists are.
 

shrudi, palolem beach, 3rd april 2012

going a long the beach the hats in beautiful colors next to fancy continental coffee and restaurant places with crazy electronic music or jazz. clean beach and deep blue water. going through the tiny ways inside the palm area piles of rubbish, coconut shells waiting for a better life, plastic pieces are covering houses and the pigs are licking the last drop of food from the plastic bags.

alfonso, palolem beach, 3rd april 2012

sign, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

girl, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

mega, palolem beach, 3rd april 2012

starflowers, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

sign2, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

sometimes i wonder what the tourist are thinking. about the discrepancy. the broken dream. the unperfect one. or do they see it or is it like in a dream where you just see the halfof it. everything else is blurry.

memory definitly is doing its best. it shades, masks out.

or maybe it makes understand. that life is just as it is. they are like it is. and if you wanna be here you have to accept.

likeness is a good way of acceptance and understanding.  cheapness i guess as well.

bedsheets, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

@li, palolem beach, 2nd april 2012

indeed a coincident

sleeping, between mumbai and margao, 31st march 2012

sometimes i am wondering if somebody shapes secretly the world for me. before i started the train from varanasi to mumbai and mumbai to margao i thought it would be aweful. too late trains, too hot, too heavy luggage, thieves and narrowness.

nothing like that. not even thieves. instead lovely people, lot of power for my lap top and actually too much coldness.

landscape1, between mumbai and margao, 31st march 2012

landscape2, between mumbai and margao, 31st march 2012

i decided i would go now. no specific reason just was time. no mc donalds food, after considering and standing in front of the unicef building. three componants, individual factors. if one of those factors would change what would happen with following night. maybe the same, delayed. probably, doesn't matter cause that chain reaction happened. oh before one aspect more. i usually do not talk to germans. not because i do not like germans. i just do not think there is enough reason to talk to a german just because he is german. but to them i talked.

two girls, where sayings something. i asked them were they are from, etc. carried on talking. quite nice. sweet girls on their traveling route talking about typical tourist experience of being forced into group pictures with strange indians, fighting about prices and respect. like me.

nothing special, but one thing was fun: it turned pout they not just travel in the same train to margao, but in the same train, teh same department and same grouping of beds. one of them studied in passau which a town really close form my hometown.

not sure if this says something about coincident or common factors of people traveling and the train company make them travel.

interior, between mumbai and margao, 31st march 2012

man outisde, between mumbai and margao, 31st march 2012

a bit of practice.

step 1, origami flower, train, between varanasi and mumbai, 30th march 2012

origami is a way of folding a paper to an object without cutting but with folding it. it is done in japan and considered as an art form, but also a fashion among westerners.

the girl sat next to me, she took out a little box full of papers, started to fold, quick and knowledged. fingertips precise and strong touching the paper.

she is quiet. her friend much more talkative. talking about japan, about food, in japan and india, their love for japan, and then india. their studying. she was studying eglish literature and drama. she loves it. as she says. it is big in japan.

talking about stereotypes. japanese girls are nice, polite, shy. sweet. these girls are. but not just. intelligent, fast, funny curious. at least what i understood.  i know stereotypes do not exist, but still they always coming up, for me, meeting new personalities.

stereotypes are there to simplify, to understand, to make it easier. do they restrict the way you act with a person.

the whole way we talked a bit, not super much. not sure if it is there personality, mine, the space in between. 

step 3, origami flower, train, between varanasi and mumbai, 30th march 2012

step 5, origami flower, train, between varanasi and mumbai, 30th march 2012

step 8, origami flower, train, between varanasi and mumbai, 30th march 2012

finished, origami flower, train, between varanasi and mumbai, 30th march 2012

i got bored after a while. of writing, reading. felt i should interact. got exciting about he fine quick fingers making out of nothing everything.

i was not good. i can tell. the corners where not specified enough, not detailed, so the following steps where even more difficult. everything depended on each other. she looked at it, smiled, laughed, redid it, explained again. was patient. very.

audience, origami flower, train, between varanasi and mumbai, 30th march 2012

side thought: she got introduced in me on my first day of my traveling. by her grandson, i suppose. at least he said so. Look after my grandmother he said. so i suppose.

i was just a bit shocked, out of selfishness, helplessness. i should look after her. i looked around. nobody was in the department, but also we were early. he seemed in a rushed. i was just shouting at him. what. me. i cannot speak hindi, she not english. what do u think. ask somebody else or explain me exactly what to do- imagining in my head already her and me pushing each other to the toilet.

i still ask myself now if i was unsocial, selfish or unspontaneous, unflexible. what would other people do?

at the end it was all fine. there was a nice hindi guy next to us, she was much easier to deal iwth then expected and she learned also a lesson. being not understood and making yourself understood in a non verbal way but still feeling secure.

at the end after looking at the origami for a while, she took them in her little hands, looked a t them smiled, passed them back, ask for an image with her and the two chinese girls. was proud, looked at her image. smiled.

leaving and arriving

house and power pole, between varanasi and mumbai, 29th march 2012

being on a train it seems timeless. not there sometimes not anymore there gives u this Time in between where is nothing. Just the moment in between.

I love those moments. Being on the train, traveling. It seems everybody on the go makes me stand still and watch. passive observer. nobody cares about me.

but traveling makes my mind move. think about nothing and everything.

houses, between varanasi and mumbai, 29th march 2012

I can remember one Holiday with my parents. I was around 12 years. yes 12 years, cause I was getting conscious about my body weight. We were traveling with the car over the Alps to south tirol. We were sitting in the car, for ages, saw the mountain, the trees. And within that drive i invented a Holiday time machine. A black room with curtains inside, where you go in and by getting in you go into different time zones such as stone ages. Which i think was highly popular in my mind, because of Jurassic park.  I even thought of a realistic way of doing it, having an escalator which goes into different levels, in which you have those time zones located.

landscape 1, between varanasi and mumbai, 29th march 2012

landscape 2, between varanasi and mumbai, 29th march 2012

worker, between varanasi and mumbai, 29th march 2012

Building up things, dreaming, imagining is an amazing ability of human being. out of nothing everything.

passanger, between varanasi and mumbai, 29th march 2012

nowadays I am a moderate dreamer, should do it probably much more. Most of the time i stop myself. Cause leads to bad thoughts, are not allowed anymore to exit whenever you want.

Dreaming is Luxury for somebody who has too much time. Or allows themselves.

passanger 2 and 3, between varanasi and mumbai, 29th march 2012

feet, between varanasi and mumbai, 29th march 2012