a deal...

waste, assi ghat, varanasi, 19th march 2012

he was ideal. eloquent, intelligent, smart, teenager, eager and living in my area. and I met him again,

raul.

the first time i met raul was in a restaurant. he came with a woman, white, had some food. did not hear any conversation. only thought- what are they talking about?

the second time i met raul on the way home with asmita and alka. after eating we went home and stopped. said he saw us again. i was the German lady. spoke about boat rides and if we want to do it and that it would cost very little. He talked about experience in varanasi, asked a lot of questions.

he rode on his too big bike next to us and seems so major. we said yes to the boat ride.

the fourth time I saw him a day later,

 you missed the boatride. I said.

he said I know. and told me first about something, than about his brother would have done him something in his drink. Some sayings. i was not interested if he was lying or not, but wanted to talk to him. an interview. ideally a project. I was happy to see him.

The last time I saw him was after the interview. we argued about money. kind of.

raul's brother or cousin, assi ghat, varanasi, 19th march 2012

he asked me for 5 euro note. I said yes. He asked if he could have it

I said no I could not gave it him cause I would not pay people i interview. out of principle. so he asked if he could borrow it.  for a friend.

So I agreed. and then it went on and on. asked if he could keep it after showing it to his freinds, i offered him a deal to give sth back to me instead, thinking help both out of the dilemma, him saying it might get stolen. Me saying he should give it back if he cannot be responsible enough. and on and non. so at the end he asked to borrow money for food. I said tomorrow he said you do not trust me, we argued and finally we left each other.

trees, assi ghat, varanasi, 19th march 2012

not giving money in photography is important.  the person should not give time, thoughts, for getting money back. getting something else back, self-awareness, confidence, proudness, and a voice. But not money. Changes the idea. So important. also for other photographers.

but he spend his time, his commitment, did not go and searched for people to go on his boat tour. what if has definition from journalism is different. give and take. always. for him money?

is the idea to do something purely out of own will not just a western idea, based on content and fulfilled living. having the ability to do something which does not involve money and looking after your life? Having the freedom to enjoy this kind of luxury. 

I always ask myself what would I do. a person come, sucks information out of me, and leaves and earn money.

what do I get? A voice. A possibility to be seen.

he is apparently the oldest in the family. he dad does not work and he has to earn the living. Not sure if i believe him.

raul, assi ghat, varanasi, 19th march 2012