splitting up

old delhi, delhie, april 2012

Splitting up seems sometimes so impossible. A person you spend a certain amount of intense time either within profession or privacy with you is not anymore, suddenly. Common routines are established, an own language and sublanguage is developed and habits are taken up. 

a friends is leaving, today. Spend with him one week.

view, old delhi, delhie, april 2012

Sometimes everything flows and two individuals are finding some bridges, sometimes it just a torture. Sickness of being together.  Also among friends, above all among friend, cause being full of expectations. It has to be fun, interesting, entertaining. If it does not work out a little habits are overtaking each other’s perception it becomes difficult. When you get annoyed about certain habits unbearable.

I lived with a lot of different people in a lot of shared places. Sometimes it was great, sometimes it was not. One time I moved in with people I got to know during a festival in hungary. During the festival we dances, got crazy, had fun and good conversation. Perfect. During staying together it became more and more an issue, because what they expected me from the festival was not in everyday life. I am boring, I am a gieg and I wanna be alone sometimes.  At the end I counted the days to leave. Felt unbearable in a house where people expected me o be a different person. Another times it was great, like with Stephanie, the person before I moved in with the festival guys. Did not know her, super quirky and arti farti from paris, but just a nice girl, gave me space, did not want to cook with me, left me alone. Perfect. Being able to spend time together is not the same thing as friendship. Perfect if it is. 

bags, hotelroom, old delhi, delhie, april 2012

I am most of the time alone. When my boyfriend is leaving I feel every single time the missing part, for days, but than it is ok.eventually, get back to my old routines.

Today mads was leaving. no person to talk to, no shared walks to the chai guy. no one who tells me directions.back to normal.

bed, old delhi, delhie, april 2012