Friday, 20 April 2012


neha and boyfriend, boyfriend's home, pune, april 2012

I thought india would be further. If you can call it like that. Or lets say india would not have this issue. At least that was what I experienced by my indian friends I met in London and new york. They talked about boyfriends, living together, splitting up, marriage was never a question. Traveling around alone is cool and whatever you wanna do is your choice.

Then I came to pune and got to know neha.

Neha lives in this apartment, beautiful area, beautiful apartment, very homely furnished, decorated. Very modern. But not rich. Everything was from the landlord, the decoration not overly organized and well thought. Just normal, like me.

I am not the well-experienced person in coach surfing. Did it in the past, offered my place but never got personally active. Too many things on, to busy, stupid excuses. But I like the idea. People offering places for free in return for nothing. Maybe.

We were talking, all evening long. About nothing and everything. About her life, about mine, but above all about her.

Neha had to fight, lost a lot of friends, status and acknowledgement. She was in film producer, a good job in Mumbai, till she released it kills her. So she left, gave up everything, went to an ashram, travelled around and settled in pune. Had in the meantime different boyfriends and lives now with her boyfriend half secretly together, wants to build up her career as a yoga teacher. her parents are middle class, have a small business. nothing special. Her friends are from her childhood, from her working time. After changing her life she lost a lot of them.

‘In my class you do not do that. Living with a boyfriend before marriage, travelling alone, making own decisions, not thinking about money. but I wanted to do that. I thought it is the right thing. And it feels good. sometimes I thought I just get back to my old life. Work in production, marry somebody, still have my old friends, not hearing all the time how strange my life is. But than I think all that trouble just makes me stronger.’

neha and boyfriend, boyfriend's home, pune, april 2012

The generation before me did this. My parents, maybe, maybe nor that much. But a lot of other, fought more or less for all that. Emancipation, equality, freedom in choice. Pushing the boundaries and having a lot of people agreeing in those aspects makes my life as it is possible. Travelling around alone, marrying whenever, whoever and however is my choice. Profession and living quality almost. Sometimes they used to interfere, said it is not our status, but rarely nowadays. Not at all.

Neha has to fight for all that. She says she is the only own. Some woman come for advise and talk to her, most of friends just shaking the head.

neha and boyfriend, boyfriend's home, pune, april 2012

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