one of the reason I left varanasi was my success less journalism life.
It was the cows, the shit, the smell, the greedy people, heat, the water, but the not diving in, but it was also to let go.
I always new journalism life is not easy. You have to write, phone, beg. But for whatever reasons it hurts me more.
I like to work. to do something. I always knew. In bangladesh I had work, always. I was happy. now I do not have work. not really. Nothing specific. I do, but motivation goes.
Everybody needs to work. not work, but something to do. to strive for something, which keeps you focused.
I always wanted to become a journalist, a photographer, talk about people, communicate something which seems to be important, not just for me. I am working hard. This is my trial period. 6 month, me and topics, me and selling. I am not selling anything. Write e mails over and over. Nobody response, or no positive response. still I sit hear instead of having fun, instead of being with my family.
If you do not have an aim it is difficult to focus. Being self employed is always having your own vision. your own aim.
Some days are good, some days are not. some days you are active, some days you just wait.